A Watery Death

Day 157

So afurrter furrinding that I have furrleas I have furround out something furrar more worse than little crawly monsters on me. It's something that I never ever ever! want to do again. It's called a bath. It deals with water, something that cats, since the beginning of time, have dreaded. Why do I even need a bath. I mean I can clean myself purrfectly furrine. The purrocess was scary. They furrist locked me in this one cave then they turned on the dreaded water. They then stuck me in the giant water bowl with themselves. They seem to be immune to this water thing.

They start purroring the liquid killer onto me. I try to do evfurrything I can to these two-paws to get them to stop this murder. I scream and scratch and meow but nothing seems to work. It's just awfurrl. They then start to lather me in this white stinky substance that's just horrible. They

rub it all in and let it sit there.  It's so awfurrl and unpurresantly horrifurric. I just furry wanted it to all end. I was not a happy kitty at all. Afurrter all of that misery had ended I just wanted to get out ofurr there. Ofurr course they lefurrt me in there. So I had to wait furrefurr befur they let me-out.  When they furrnally let me-out they wraped me up in a furrzzy cloth material and wouldn't let go. The weird purrart ofurr this was that they tried drying the watter offurr ofurr me afurrter they purrt it on me in the furrist purrlace! I will never understand these two-paws and their ways. I just hope that they will never efurr purrt me through that again. I hope they're happy beclaws I'm not. I'm going to go sulk and purrout in a corner afurrter mew cat nap.

Cationary furr your decoding

afurrter (after)
furrinding (finding)
furrleas (fleas)
furround (found)
furrar (far)
purrfectly (perfectly)
furrine (fine)
purrocess (process)
furrist (first)
cave (room)
water bowl (bath tub)
purrouring (pouring)
liquid killer (water)
efurrything (everything)
two-paws (humans)
awfurrl (awful)
white stinky substance (shampoo)
unpurresantly (unplesantly)
horrifurric (horrific)
furry (really)
ofurr (of)
lefurrt (left)
furrefurr (forever)
befur (before)
me-out (me out)
furrnally (finally)
furrzzy (fuzzy)
cloth material (towel)
purrart (part)
offurr (off)
purrt (put)
purrlace (place)
efurr (ever)
beclaws (because)
purrout (pout)
mew (my)



                                                  

Dr. Flea

Day 134

            So I was furry purrleased to furrnally get out of this shelter, but defurrnitely not like this. You've cat to be kitten me right meow! I actually got out of the shelter and furr a purrlesantly delightfurrl ride in this giant mew-ving litter box. It was furry scary, like oh mew Bast!

  


I could purractically see all nine of mew lives furrlash befurr me. I thought it was great but scary all at the same time. I don't furry know how I furry furreel right meow.  But anyways, mew excitement is getting

me off track of what the furry scary adventure furry was. I mean, furry! One mewnute I'm just riding along, enjoying the scenery and trying not to be such a scaredy cat. Then all of a sudden, bam! We're at this other litter shelter. I went along, not like I furry had a choice in this mewtter. It was furry purrculiar on the inside. The walls were all solid white and furry purrale. The furry weird purrt about this was that there were other creatures, even cats, in this one room. They all had the same furracial emotion as I did, compurrlete horror. I almost purreed mew purrants. Well I would have if I had purrants. The two-paws took me into this room with this other two-paw in this white cloth mewterial. This two-paw was a mewster though. He thoroughly checked me out like I was his prey. He said I had these things called "fleas" then he just attacked me! He randomly bit me! I mewed at the top of mew lungs! I wanted out of there as furrast as purrossible! I clawed and clawed at him and furrnally we got out of there. I never ever ever ever!!! Like ever want to go back! These two-paws call that evil purrlace the "vet". Hiss, even that name makes me want to throw up a hairball. Afurrter all of that disastrous mess I'm going to take a cat nap.

Cationary furr your decoding

Furry (really)
purrleased (pleased)
furnally (finally)
shelter (house)
defurrnitely (definitely)
You've cat to be kitten me right meow (you've got to be kidding me right now)
furr (for)
delightfurrl (delightful)
mew-ving (moving)
litter box (car)
Bast (cat goddness)
purractically (practically)
mew (my)
furrlash (flash)
befurr (before)
furreel (feel)
meow (now)
mewnute (minute)
scaredy cat (scared, really scared, petrified)
litter (little)
mewtter (matter)
purrculiar (peculiar)
purrale (pale)
purrt (part)
furracial (facial)
compurrlete (complete)
purreed (peed)
purrants (pants)
two-paws (humans)
mewterial (material)
mewster (monster)
furrast (fast)
purrossible (possible)
purrlace (place)
afurrter (after)


                                             

The Wonders of Catnip

Day 119

So I am slowly getting furry bored in this shelter. Like extremely bored. Then I notice that these two-paws were up to something fishy again. I never know what they'll do next. So, me being furry curious, as usual, I investigate. Turns out they bought back some little treat they said. They call it "catnip" That just sounds furry unpurrleasant, like it comes furrom a cat. I was scaredy cat furr a moment befurr I realized it has nothing to do with a cat.

It's green and smells purrleasantly, pawsitively, purreciously delightfurrl. I cat explain the smell but once I smell it, it's like I'm on cloud 9. It just changes mew whole purrsonality with this one treat. Instead of me being all hypurr and energetic all the time, I just want to calm down and like meditate or something.




 It's just so relaxing and calming to the soul. I don't know what it is about this stuff, but I like it. These two-paws though don't allow me to be around the stuff for furry long and they usually hide it in a pouncing cave or some other furry diffurrcult purrlace I cat seem to furrind. It's furry furrustrating and I might just end up having a hissy furrit.




                                                                               




I almost just want to sleep even more when I am in contact with this. I just cat get enough of this Nepeta Cataria. It only lasts 20 mewnutes though befurr it wears off. It's intoxi-cat-ing and I think the two-paws are using it to their advantage. It's just so

 purrfect that I thi, I think I am go, going t-to take, take a um, a catnap. Yeah yeah a catnap. That sounds furry lovely right now. zzzzzzzz-meow-zzzz-mew.

Cationary furr decoding

furry (really)
shelter (house)
two-paws (humans)
fishy (weird, suspicious)
catnip (powerful, potent herb for cats)
unpurrleasant (unpleasant)
furrom (from)
scaredy cat (afraid, terrified)
furr (for)
befurr (before)
purrleasantly (pleasantly)
pawsitively (positively)
purreciously (preciously)
delightfurrl (deligthful)
cat (can't)
mew (my)
purrsonality (personality)
hypurr (hyper)
pouncing cave (crawl spaces)
diffurrcult (difficult)
purrlace (place)
furrind (find)
furrustrating (frustrating)
hissy furrit (hissy fit)
Nepeta Cataria (catnip)
mewnutes (minutes)
intoxi-cat-ing (intoxicating)