Day 102
Oh Yuck! Gross! Bleh! EWWWW!! Not again! I CAT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I am furry furred up with the gunk these two-paws are furreeding me. It smells worse than a wet mouse and tastes more revolting than what I coughed up last week, which was furry gross by the way. They expect me to eat this, this garbage! while they dine and furreast on the furrancy purrleasures and deli-cat-cies of the gods. They must all be furrll of mouse farts if they think I will eat this crap. I'd like to see them try to hold down this mess.
I mean I do not think it's furrair that they get to dine on the king of the sea or the queen of the air, but hey I'm just a cat, what do I know? No one bothers to ask me what I want. It's not like I can understand what those two-paws are meowing but I'd
still like them to notice me and mew wants and purrleasures. You'd think afurrter 102 days I would know a two-paw but I guess not. It's like they have no furreelings beclaws I stare at them with mew kitty eyes but they don't give in. Maybe they all are robots in disguise. Maybe that's why they have fur in the wrong places and no tails. I'll soon learn their tricks. I just sit and watch them munch away their emotions, hunger, and even sickness. These two-paws furreed at the oddest and weirdest moments. There are a couple of two-paws I can purrlay my claw-di mind tricks on. They are the grand-kittens of these two-paws and they obey mew eyes and purrthetic cries of hunger. I can easily trick these young two-paws into giving me their de-fish-ious furrood. All I have to do now is meow and
they furrllow me.I am slowly learning ways
of how to manipulate and make the two-paws take mew side furr once. One day I will rule this shelter. I am one paw closer to total take over. "That's one small stride for cat, one giant pounce for cat kind." Until I conquer the world I must conquer the shelter, so for now I'll sleep on it with another cat nap.
Cationary furr your decoding
cat (can't)furry (really)
furred (fed)
two-paws (humans)
furreeding (feeding)
furreast (feast)
furrancy (fancy)
purrleasures (pleasures)
deli-cat-cies (delicacies)
furrll (full)
mouse farts (b.s./ crap/ bologna)
furrair (fair)
king of the sea (tuna fish)
queen of the air (chicken)
meowing (talking)
mew (my)
afurrter (after)
furreelings (feelings)
beclaws (because)
furreed (feed)
purrlay (play)
claw-di minds tricks (jedi mind tricks)
grand-kittens (grandchildren)
purrthetic (pathetic)
de-fish-ious (delicious)
furrood (food)
furrllow (follow)
furr (for)
shelter (house)
"That's one small stride for cat, one giant pounce for cat kind." (Neil Armstrong's moon quote)
Brilliant. You have some really nice narrative, and I think my old cat would agree with what it's saying. Every now and then we gave him wet canned food and for about the next 2 weeks he'd cry and cry about not getting it anymore. It was like his lost love. Then he'd quiet down about that and start complaining about the normal things again like wanting water out of the bathtub faucet to play in...
ReplyDeletehaha cats can be very funny and weird. My cat will meow at anything and everything.
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